The Mixed Tape
by foxtrotelly
Summary: In that smelly old gym sock she refused to touch, Harada Misaki finds the thing that brings her back to him.
1. Misaki's Playlist

**Diclaimer: **Foxtrotelly gives all copyrights reserved for the genius behind Gakuen Alice, Tachibana Higuchi-sensei

_I do not own any of the songs that inspired this fanfiction, either. I own an iPod, so yeah. Oh, but I don't own Peanuts, either. (:_

This one's been in the closet for sososo long, so I'm glad it's time has finally come. :) Yes, it is time.

_

* * *

_

**The Mixed Tape**

_**A foxtrotelly Original**_

_~ Dedicated to missyJuliette ~  
_

.______________.

_"I'm sorry Tsubasa…" I sob. Holding the letter up close to my face, I seal it with a kiss and leave it on his table. _

_ This was it. After the ceremony, I was busting out, never knowing if I could ever see him again after all of this. I walk over to the window, take one last look around his room, and leap out. _

_ And that was it._

* * *

My eyes shot open as the cab I was in lurched to a stop in front of the _Kashiwagi Plaza_, a fairly tall building standing high amidst the busy Tokyo hub. Absentmindedly, I rest my head against the cool taxi cab window as a sick, uneasy feeling of queasiness erupted in my stomach. My thoughts reverted back to the same dream that's been haunting me ever since I arrived back to Japan, giving me a shock of disturbance that sent waves throughout my entire body.

And it was also funny how the dream took to becoming more and more vivid as I drew closer to Tokyo, the place where it all started.

"Hey, Miss, this your stop right?" the taxi driver broke off my perturbed train of thought.

"What?" I asked stupidly, "Oh, yeah."

The stubbly cab driver scratched his chin and stared at me as if I did something so crazy just that moment. "Want some help with your bags?"

"What? Sure, yeah, thanks a lot," I gave him a preoccupied reply before hurriedly reaching for the door and stepping outside. I felt a feeling of relief as I respired, standing tall right in front of this equally altitudinous height.

I was home.

* * *

After finally unpacking all my stuff into my new condominium unit, I saw it as the perfect opportunity to plop down on bed and simply make up for my lost time of sleeping, even if I was still fully dressed.

With one relieved sigh, I kicked off my pin heels and let my eyes travel down to the inviting queen-sized mattress that lay in front of me. It's been a long day, and I really wanted to get some of that needed shut eye.

To know how far my feet threw off those heels was beyond me, because before I knew it, they sounded like they knocked down my tower of shoe boxes that sat by the doorway of my pre-furnished walk-in closet several paces away, in one unified blow. I rolled my eyes and walked over to check the damages.

I leaned against the doorframe and blindly groped for the lights. My hands rested on what felt like the light switch and I flipped it on, suddenly beholding a spectacle of fallen shoe boxes and dislocated heels, pumps, and step-ins.

Geez, sometimes I'd just have to wonder where all my strength really came from.

Mentally cussing myself for being the stupid person I was, I walked in and began to pick up all the fallen shoes. I never remembered how I ended up having all these shoes, but in times of dire need like this, I knew I just really needed some help.

I wanted to hit myself for being such a lazy moron for this, but then, that idiotically dominant part took its control over me and made me give in to that one thing I promised myself never to do again after I left the Academy. Come to think of it, it's been two years since I left, and the normally tingly feeling I'd get in my spine when I attempted to duplicate myself now felt like an unfamiliar sensation that's been voided out. I, nonetheless, succeeded anyway.

"Hey," I greeted the clone in front of me casually. "I need some help."

"Hey yourself, I haven't seen you in a while either," the clone replied coolly. This made me smile for a bit, suddenly remembering the fact that I've been a good master considering how my clones have developed their own feelings and intelligible trains of thought over the years.

"You wouldn't mind helping me out by picking up the boxes, would you?"

She shrugged nonchalantly, "Sure."

I set off picking up all the shoes in plain sight, leaving my clone to be with her own job. Unconsciously, my gaze flitted to what were once my favorite shoes; a forgotten pair of worn-out chucks. Laying all the shoes I picked up in one neat pile, I walked over to the red chucks and let myself pick them up.

I wrinkled my nose when an unpleasant stench of sweat and foot wafted from inside the pair of shoes I was holding. I reached inside and suddenly found a gym sock resting at the palm of my hand.

"Gross," I muttered, quickly letting go of the smelly, old sock.

_Thunk!_

Disregarding the fact that it smelled like something died inside, I got hold of the sock again and shook its mystery contents out into my hand.

It was an indigo-colored iPod nano that still had its earphones attached to it.

Dammit, it was _Tsubasa's _indigo-colored iPod that still had its earphones attached to it.

The screen unexpectedly flickered to life as I turned it on, making me gasp audibly enough to let it echo inside the spatial room.

"Hey, you alright over there?" my clone called out to me.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I waved my hand dismissively. I automatically went over to the playlists and scrolled through the entire thing. I'd have to give it to him because this was one _really_ longlist. As I reached to the very bottom of the list, a certain playlist caught my eye.

_Misaki's_ _Mixed Tape_

While my instincts screamed for me to press play, my heart calmly objected, telling me to put the gadget down and get on with what I had to do. Right now, my heartbeat began to race, a new sense of anticipation and curiosity began pushing through me, sending me a warning.

Unfortunately, I was stupid enough to take it as a vague sign, letting matter get the best of me. I ignored my mind, and pressed down on the tiny, circular button.

_The Mixed Tape – Jack's Mannequin_

I blinked twice and wore the earphones. I pressed play.

A steady set of guitar strums greeted my ears, followed by a guy's baritone voice that sang through the phones.

_**This is morning, that's when you spent the most time,**_

_**Thinking 'bout what I've given up**_

_**This is a warning, when you start the day just to close the curtains you're,**_

_**Thinking 'bout why I've given up (up, up, on you now…)**_

From my peripherals, I saw the clone catching sight of me standing, frozen in a daze.

_**Where are you now,**_

_**As I'm swimming through the stereo, I'm writing you a symphony of sound**_

_**Where are you now…**_

_**As I rearrange the songs again, this mix could burn a whole in anyone,**_

'_**Cause it was you I was thinkin' of. (it was you I was thinking of…)**_

I sensed her worry, and I immediately came to my senses. "Could you finish up for me here?"

The clone nodded. I walked out into my bedroom.

_**I read your letter,**_

_**The one you left when you broke into my house**_

_**-- a retrace of every step you made.**_

_**You said in your letter,**_

'_**There's a piece o' me in every single, second of every single day',**_

_**And if it's true you tell me how it got this way.**_

_**Where are you now,**_

_**As I'm swimming through the stereo, I'm writing you a symphony of sound**_

_**Where are you now…**_

_**As I rearrange the songs again, this mix could burn a whole in anyone,**_

'_**Cause it was you I was thinking of… (It was you I was thinking of…)**_

I felt the blare of a rapid piano tune play through me as the song reached its peak point, and eventually, gradually decrease down in tempo. I lied down on the bed and let the suddenly calm sound, now accompanied by the sounding of a piano play its effects on me. I relaxed.

_**I can't get to you, (I can't get to you…)**_

_**I can't get to you,**_

_**I can't get to you… (you, you…)**_

_**Where are you now?**_

_**As I'm swimming through the stereo,**_

_**I conduct a symphony of sound**_

_**Where are you now?**_

_**As I'm cutting through you track by track**_

_**I swear to God this mix could sink the sun**_

_**But it was you I was thinking of…**_

_**And where are you now? (Where you now?)**_

_**This is my mixed tape for her,**_

_**It's like I wrote, every note with my own fingers.**_

That was the end of the song. It was pretty good, but at the same time, it also made me wonder what else _he_ had in this playlist for me. If this playlist _was_ his own take of mixed tape, that is.

Scrolling down, I caught sight of four more songs. A small part of me wanted to save those for later on, while the bigger part made my fingers itch to press that little button. Eventually, the former won.

A feeling of lethargy and jetlag abruptly kicked in, and I found myself drifting off to a deep sleep.

I dreamt about a lot of stuff that night, the iPod and that "mixed tape" included. I was intrigued by what those five songs were and how they got there. They may have been a painful reminder, maybe even something more than that.

Because whatever they were, I had this feeling that I wasn't ready for them just yet.

* * *

Three weeks after I moved in, I had already managed to buy most of the stuff I needed, fix that walk-in closet I've never been able to wrap my mind around ever since I got here, and stock everything from my bathroom cabinet to my refrigerator with supplies.

_And yet…_

Despite my double-door fridge and humongous closet; despite the central insulating system and free WiFi; and despite the fact that I was living penthouse style and finally got my own freedom and independence, I felt incomplete.

And most of all, I felt lonely.

It's not that I wasn't around people that much, when technically, I was surrounded by people pretty much everywhere I went: the plaza lobby, the mall, the streets, the law firm – almost anywhere except my unit, actually. It's just that I've never gotten this sense of companionship from any of the countless people I encountered everyday and that was certainly a thing I greatly missed ever since I left the school.

_Tsubasa._

His name suddenly popped into my head. It made the back of my eyes sting a bit, but I shook it off.

Walking over to my work table with a feather duster in hand, I told myself that perhaps I should forget about him for a while. He was, in fact, just a "distraction" that kept me from reaching my real goals, as my parents would say it.

I cleared away some clutter and paperwork on my desk. Realizing I needed a paperclip to hold all of them together, I opened my desk drawer and immediately noticed the slim, indigo-colored object that just sat there, almost forgotten until now.

I knew I wasn't supposed to, but I did. Chuckling to myself, I ran my fingers across the colorful Snoopy bandaid stuck behind it. Tsubasa used to tell me that that bandaid reminded him of me in more ways than one.

To this very day, I never knew why.

I went to _Misaki's Mixed Tape _and scrolled down to this song I wasn't particularly familiar with. I sat down, popping the earphones on as I did.

_Nothing Ever Hurt Like You – James Morrison_

Strange enough, I found myself drawn to it much more.

_**(One, two, three, four)**_

_**Loving you is easy, playing by the rules**_

_**But you say love tastes so much better, when it's cruel.**_

_**To you everything was just a game, **_

_**And oh yeah, you played me good**_

_**But I want you, I want you, I want you,**_

_**So much more than I should, yes I do.**_

"Hmm, catchy," I absently murmured to myself, turning up the volume.

_**I've got my hands up to take your aim, yeah I'm ready,**_

_**There's nothing that we can't go through**_

_**Oh it me like a steel freight train when you left me**_

_**And nothing every hurt like you. (Nothing ever hurt like you)**_

By this time around, I already found my foot tapping to its upbeat tempo.

_**I was not even wide-eyed, but you made me see,**_

_**That you don't get to taste the honey, without the sting of the bee (no you don't)**_

_**Yes you stung me good, oh yeah you dug in deep,**_

_**But I'll take it, I'll take it, I'll take it,**_

'_**Til I'm down my knees.**_

_**I've got my hands up to take your aim, yeah I'm ready,**_

_**There's nothing that we can't go through**_

_**Walk a thousand miles on broken glass,**_

_**It won't stop me, from making my way back to you**_

_**It's not real 'til you feel the pain,**_

_**And nothing ever hurt like you. (Nothing ever hurt like you)**_

_**Oh everything was just a game, yeah you played me good,  
But I want you, I want you, I want you,  
I want you, I want you.**_

I was enjoying the song, odd as it may have seemed because despite the message, I felt Tsubasa's masochistic side being conveyed.

And I sensed my sadistic side coming through, as well. The thought made me snicker.

_**  
I've got my hands up so take your aim, yeah I'm ready,  
There's nothing that we can't go through,  
Walk a thousend miles on broken glass,**_

_**It wont stop me, from making my way back to you  
It's not real 'til you feel the pain,  
And nothing ever hurt like you… (Nothing ever hurt like you)**_

Then I suddenly knew what that bandaid metaphor was all about.

* * *

How was that for the first chapter? -.-

_Feedbacks/Comments/Suggestions/**Reviews**? (:_


	2. Movie Stars and Best Friends

Hm, forgot to mention this one's set before _**How I Met Your Mother: My Sassy Girl**_**. **That's Tsubasa and Misaki's story in case you haven't read that yet. (: So yeah, I'm back and it's almost my summer vaca - with only graduation to go (saad). Disclaimed. Yeah.

_I'd tell you that NeverShoutNever is epic, but then I wouldn't want too many people loving them because that would just make NSN overrated. _

_ …Haha, kidding. JK, listen to Christopher Drew's songs all you want.

* * *

_

Working at a law firm as a personal secretary for some jerk definitely sucked.

Today at the law firm I got pissed off. With this mountain of work due tomorrow and colleagues that don't even read the Divine Comedy, I've even got this perverted boss and a freakshow reputation constantly breathing down my neck.

Then there's Sonoda Takeru. Oh, Sonoda Takeru – probably the worst person alive. I could come up with over a hundred things to hate about him at the moment but then I wouldn't because firstly, I've only known him for a little over two months and second, it'd be a waste of time.

I mean, the guy's practically a walking slice of hell if you'd ask me.

I heaved a deep breath in frustration. Knowing I needed to put that aside to help me concentrate more on my work, I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes. My head throbbed a little when I opened my eyes again to see what was in front of me: stacks of paper on a bunch of cases I was assigned to study and sort through, a pile of bills and an array of multi-colored sticky notes stuck everywhere reminding me of things such as a Wednesday lunch with the boss and some clients and a reminder to pay for a borrowed library book on _The Guide to Working at a Law Firm: for dummies _recommended to me by a fellow co-worker.

From behind my shut curtains, a single shaft of sunlight feebly streamed through. The room felt so stuffy and dim even with all its lighting fixtures and whatnot. But it was all too artificial, and that I was very sure of. So I stood up and without hesitation, walked on over to my curtains and drew them back.

The open sunlight washed through me like a wave of warm comfort. But despite that, I shivered after a moment even if it wasn't cold. Feeling this only made me realize that letting the sun in wasn't enough. I was aware I needed something more than that, like a dose of something to help me get through all of this.

_Tsubasa._

I wasn't happy. I've never been genuinely so since the day I walked out on him after graduation. How could I even be if he was one of the very few constant people in my life that made me smile so much enough to make my facial muscles hurt the next day? And I still couldn't even get over the fact that I won't be doing that anytime soon.

Pondering over these things, I sensed the loneliness of each passing day add more weight to the frown on my face as I stood there, rooted to the spot by my window.

Before me, the broad horizon of Tokyo was painted a light shade of indigo as the afternoon soon gave way to twilight. I knew that soon enough, it would turn to a darker shade of indigo – the color of his eyes – and realizing this, I turned away.

Walking back to my desk, I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. I was still unhappy. I could've broke from too much sadness at the moment, but I didn't because a small part of myself told me I shouldn't just yet.

I opened the top drawer of my desk cabinet then I reached for something inside. As I got a hold of it, the familiar feel of cold metal was comforting on my hand.

_She's Got Style – NeverShoutNever!_

_**If it's not those cowboy boots in the summer,**_

_**Oh my God, I pray for another**_

_**Chance to drive down back that way,**_

'_**Til I stumble upon your beautiful face.**_

_**Your presence isn't what kills me,**_

_**It's that artistic gleam,**_

_**That's taken all of my scenery,**_

_**Dream by dream.**_

The easygoing light tune immediately caught my attention. I straightened up and listened on.

'_**Cause girl you've got style, and that's what I love about you**_

_**The way that you sit back, oh how you sit back,**_

_**And watch this grow**_

_**You've got dreams, and therefore I believe in you**_

_**All the small town people with their big remarks,**_

_**They ain't got jack to say about my movie star,**_

_**She's got style (la da da da da da da da…) **_

_**If it's not the fact that I'm a wee bit younger,**_

_**Or the truth that I'm so naïve,**_

_**My heart keeps leaping back to you,**_

_**Like a dog tied to a tree**_

_**I know it sounds crazy, it's ridiculous to me,**_

_**But without you by my side, girl…**_

_**  
**_My insides perked up as the corners of my lips tugged up. Besides the cute song and the cuter voice behind it, the fact that Tsubasa had made me smile even if we're apart made everything else a tad bit better.

_**Girl you've got style, and that's what I love about you**_

_**The way that you sit back, oh how you sit back,**_

_**And watch this grow**_

_**You've got dreams, and therefore I believe in you**_

_**All the small town people with their big remarks,**_

_**They ain't got jack to say about my movie star…**_

_**What are the odds of finding someone just like you?**_

_**Tell me why I never wanted to go back home (I never wanted to…)**_

_**I'm still falling for you today.**_

Again, the growing urge to smile finally got the best out of me. I felt some heat rush into my cheeks as I looked at the screen once again. So maybe this song really did make me feel good. I guess it did so because making me know how Tsubasa thought of me wasn't the only thing that made me glad. Aside from this, it made me sure of who I was – something I never knew I needed to know now that I'm here right where I am.

For sure, I wasn't some prissy freakshow or idiot or _skank _who knew nothing about anything and couldn't be hit on by someone who survives afterwards all the time. I was definitely something more than that.

Undeniably, I was Andou Tsubasa's movie star – the type of girl who could make him feel like the luckiest guy in the world if he had me and the type of person who shouldn't be brought down by a bunch of _jack_ from some small people of some big city.

I smiled to myself. The fact could have been enough to make my chest swell in pride at some other moment, but for some reason, it didn't right now. Confused, I took a look around my large and spacious condo for no apparent reason whatsoever. Looking around, however, only brought me back to reality once again.

Movie star or not, I was still _lonely._

* * *

The phone rang for the fifth time. I simply stared at it. After four more times, it stopped ringing altogether. This soothed my grating nerves, but after a few seconds, the phone started ringing again. And again. And again.

The moment my hand moved by an inch to cut off the telephone cord was the moment when my automated voice message finally kicked in.

_*Good day to you, sir/madam. You are currently calling at Harada Misaki's residence. She's not here at the moment so please leave a message after the beep. (BEEP)*_

A clicking sound reverberated clearly from the speakers which was soon followed by my mother's own pompously intonated voice.

_"Misaki, dear? Oh my it's been a such a while. It's me, Harada Juno, your mother – in the slight case you might have forgotten me – " _I rolled my eyes at the formalness. Of course I knew who my mother was_. " – As you have been well-informed of, your father and I have been expecting your visit over a week ago and with your noticeable absence from this household, it's come to mind that I should inform you because you might have forgotten about that one too. Well, répondez s'il vous plait?"_

I gave an exasperated sigh. How typical of my mother to leave a message that only got more formal by the sentence, really. However, I felt a hint of sadness as well when I thought of how she never – as well as my dad – just ask how I was doing or end their message with a simple _'Love you, sweetie' _or _'Take care'_.

My numb chest ached dully at the thought. This made me decide to put such feelings behind me since I didn't need them anyway. Setting this aside, I flopped on my belly and pulled a throw pillow over my head.

Then the phone rang again. I groaned, but this time, instead of simply staring at it, I picked it up and braced myself for the worst.

"_Hello, Misaki?" _It was my mother. Of course.

"Oh, hey mom," I casually greeted her.

Something from the other line crackled, similar to the sound of gritting teeth. Mother's tone seemed mildly peeved, _"Misaki, dear, so do you have plans to come over soon?"_

"Well, it's just that I've been so busy lately that I haven't really…" I trailed off, not really knowing what else I could pull off as an excuse.

She continued on, all the while her voice sounding like she was frowning at my bated response. _"It's just that your father and I have been thinking that you don't allot any of your time for us. And you live quite near too, which makes your failure to visit simply unacceptable, Harada Misaki."_

I tried to hide my growing annoyance. "It's ok, _mother_," I stressed at the word, "I'd visit soon, I promise."

It didn't take her too long to sharply reply, which was very much like my mother. _"Come over next week then. Brunch on Sunday at nine?" _I opened my mouth to quickly retort but snapped it shut again because she simply was too fast for me. _"Alright then. Dress smart, dear." _ She hung up on me right after that.

Fantastic.

* * *

I stared blankly at the screen.

_Drops of Jupiter – Train_

Of all songs, it just had to come to this. Though I already saw it the first time I saw his iPod, I never knew the day would come when I'd be willing – or _idiotic – _enough to have a listen. Tsubasa loved this song just as much as I did and there was no denying it during the lazy days we'd listen to it on replay for hours on end.

_**Now that she's back in the atmosphere with drops of Jupiter in her hair (hey, hey),**_

_**She acts like summer and walks like rain,**_

_**Reminds me that there's time to change (hey, hey)**_

_**Since her return from her stay on the moon,**_

_**She listens like spring and talks like June (hey, hey).**_

_**Tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?**_

_**Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded,**_

_**And that heaven was overrated?**_

_**Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star, one without a permanent scar,**_

_**And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?**_

This song definitely defined _us. _But now, perhaps that was how it used to be – how _we _used to be. I should've seen this idea coming sooner or later. Then again, I never knew that the incorrigible truth would ever have to be this painful.

_**Now that she's back from that soul vacation, tracing her way through the constellations (hey, hey)**_

_**She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo,**_

_**Reminds me that there's room to grow (hey, hey)**_

_**Now that she's back from the atmosphere,**_

_**I'm afraid that she might think of me as a plain ol' Jane**_

_**Told a story about a man who was too afraid to fly so he never did land**_

_**Now tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?**_

_**Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day, and head back to the Milky Way?**_

_**And tell me, did Venus blow your mind?**_

_**Was it everything you wanted to find,**_

_**And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?**_

Although this wasn't the first time I listened to the song, I couldn't help but find all the truth behind every song verse and chorus. It definitely struck me in the best way Tsubasa can, and for that I was really hurt yet awakened at the same time.

_**Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken? **_

_**Your best friend always sticking up for you (even when I know you're wrong)**_

_**Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance,**_

_**Five-mile phone conversation,**_

_**The best soy latte that you've ever had…**_

…_**And me**_

It was then that I realized a few things.

I never meant to shut him out of my life, but with everything that has happened over the past two years, that kind of thing happening deemed possible as each day passed us by. I knew I should have done something to keep us together, but I had already long admitted to myself that I was too cowardly to go against my parents. I tried running away, though they eventually found me and did every means possible to tear me away from the things that kept me from being the perfect daughter who lived up to their every skyhigh standard and expectation. Most of all, I was most ashamed of myself when I allowed them to whisk me away from everything I ever cared about.

And to make things worse, I had already lost faith and hope in myself the moment I got back to the place where it all started.

_**Tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?**_

_**Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day,**_

_**And head back to the Milky Way?**_

_**And tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?**_

_**Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded,**_

_**And that heaven was overrated?**_

_**Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star, one without a permanent scar,**_

_**And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?**_

Ok, perhaps this was enough. I stopped the song and turned the iPod off, but kept the earphones on. I didn't know how long, but for a moment, I just lay there on my sofa, contemplating on what to do next.

Then something hit me.

Somehow, listening to _our_ song seemed so different now. Lying here, alone, made me aware that this wasn't like the shallow moments I used to spend with Tsubasa. There was too much truth and depth and meaning behind it to make it seem ludicrous.

So I know it sounds cliché, but I know that in a small part of my heart, I was right. Because aside from the music that I could actually relate to, there was the part where I came to realize how much he really meant to me.

Yes, I miss him. And besides that, being made aware of how impossible life was without him only made me miss him more.

He was once a big part of my life, now gone – and that's very heartbreaking to say the least on my part.

Now all I could do is wonder where I could go and how I could move on from here on 'til then.

* * *

**Was it everything you wanted to find?**

_Grad gift please - review? (:  
_


	3. Singing Between The Lines

Great so my laptop just crashed, but luckily for me, the second chapter was already posted by that time. Bad news is I lost all my songs – which really pissed me off like FFFFUUU- Like that, yeah.

So, I'm sorry for the random rant. Here's the last chapter. Disclaimed. 'Kayy.

I could remember being miserable just the other day until I thought of picking up the newspaper to have a read. Then just like that, I flipped a page and found the answer to my problems – well, most of them anyway.

Because of this, today I finally stood intentionally before the telephone for the first time in a long time. With a shaking hand, I reached for the receiver and with the other dialed the number in.

The phone rang two times before a warm and friendly voice greeted me.

_"Good morning, Mr. Bear and Co.'s Workshop, Sonoh Kaname speaking."_

A rush of comforting familiarity washed through me immediately.

"Kaname!" I cried happily.

He gasped_, "Misaki? Is that really you?"_

I could almost feel the tears of joy escape from my eyes as my face broke into a relieved smile. "Yes. It's really me."

"_How did you manage to find me?" _

"Well, I saw this ad on the newspaper so I decided to try my luck in calling. Then it really did end up to be you after all," I said, slightly flippant. "I really missed you, Kaname."

"_I missed you so much too! How have you been doing?"_

"Oh, you know," I wiped away my tears before they even had the chance to fall. "Same old," I said with a hint of sadness that was really quite obvious even to me.

"_Really now," _he sounded like he had on a sad smile.

"Yeah."

"_Wanna talk about it?" _he offered kindly.

"It's really not that, you know… I – " I fumbled with words I could have said.

Kaname gave a soft chuckle, _"It's ok, you know. We can meet up, if that's alright."_

My mind stopped for a while, then I smiled a little. "That… would be nice."

"_It's about time. You know the store's just around here in Tokyo, and I live awfully near too."_

A thought suddenly crossed my mind at his last remark. "Well…" I started, "I live and work around here too. And… you know, how does tomorrow morning, Sunday, sound?"

I knew anything that helped me avoid any possible unforeseen misfortunes – such as an unwilling matchmake or stuck-up makeshift tea parties – is something I can be thankful to the heavens for, so I crossed my fingers for Kaname's approval.

"_That sounds great. How about coffee downtown by the bakery and ice cream parlor?" _he asked me cheerfully.

My heart lightened up a bit at the sound of Kaname's choice. "You mean downtown by _Mr. Momiji's Ice Cream Place _and _The Bread Machine_ at _Okaa-san's Coffee Mug_?"

"_Yup, that's the one,"_ he laughed at my sudden burst of over-enthusiasm.

I grinned, "It's a brunch date then. See you there at nine?"

"_Sure. See you then!"_

"Good," I affirmed. "Bye!"

"_Bye Misaki!"_

I sighed contently right after that.

* * *

That night, I dreamt of a lot of things. Great things. Memories from snow fights with the gang to Central Town trips with the kids, RPG days with the Special Abilities class to study sessions and poker nights with the dorm mates, and annual Alice and Sports festivals and dances plus everything else in between, including things like afternoon teas at Mr. Bear's and gorging on chocolate for the workout routine that followed right after, played sweetly in my head.

And unlike the same painful nightmare that has haunted me for so long, I was visited with good times unlike any other.

Because that night, I dreamt of every living moment I have ever spent with Tsubasa.

* * *

As soon as I got off the cab, I walked on over to him the moment I saw him. My heart skipped a small beat at the sight of him; sitting there at one of those quaint little outdoor tables in casual jeans and a white button-down shirt with that gentle handsome smile gracing his face.

"Kaname!" I greeted him as I reached the table.

"Misaki, hey! You made it!" he earnestly welcomed me, motioning for me to take a seat across him.

Smiling, I immediately said, "You know I won't miss the day when I'd be able to see you again."

"Me too," he beamed, then asked me politely, "Wanna order now?"

"Sure."

Kaname called over a waitress to take our order. It was so typical of him to be such a gentleman, since he not only waited for me to arrive before ordering but also because he let the waitress take down my order first despite the many rumbling protests his stomach was sending off the moment I was at hearing distance. When the waitress – who by the way, really appeared to be flirting with Kaname – left, he launched right away into light conversation, something I didn't mind at all.

"So how have things been going for you?" he inquired.

"Fine," I replied, "same old, you know."

Kaname chortled, "Right."

He was on to me, and I knew it, but though he was, he showed respect to my current state and I was grateful to admit that I appreciated the favor he was doing me.

"Well, yeah. But hey, enough about me, how about you?"

"Oh, me," he looked down shyly, "there's _Mr. Bear and Co.'s_."

"And?" I pressed him on, knowing he was just being modest again.

"Well, we established the toystore so that all profits earned can be donated to orphanages and other charitable organizations," he explained submissively. Shrugging, he added, "You know, the usual charity stuff."

"That's great Kaname, what a nice thing to do!" I exclaimed, amazed.

"As long as I keep the children happy, well I'm happy too," he smiled.

"You give Alices everywhere a good name with what you're doing, you know that?" I leaned forward to give him a pat on the shoulder.

"Thanks, you've always really been the supportive one," said Kaname matter-of-factly, "I'd never know what to do if I didn't have you as my friend."

The heat rushed to my cheeks and I grinned in flattery, "You're welcome. I guess I would be the same too if it was the other way around."

He laughed, "Right. So how are things at work?"

I hesitated for a second before answering. But then I knew I had to tell him something. "Oh well, everything's great."

_That's ridiculous. You hate your job, _a voice inside my head told me.

Dammit, it must've been my clone acting up again.

"I work as a lawyer's secretary, and things have been going smooth – almost as if I have everything I can ask for," I said, ignoring my inner clone's recent testament.

_They are – on the outside that is. You've been feeling really uncomfortable at your workplace, and things could get any worse for you. In fact, you feel terrible for not only lying to your friend but also to yourself, _my clone once again spoke up.

"My boss has been really great too."

_No he's not. He's a jerkwad remember? _she said reproachfully._ Not to mention slightly pervy…_ she muttered under her breath.

Kaname looked really relieved, "Well, I just want you to know that I'm really happy for you."

"Me too, Kaname."

Finally, the waitress arrived with our orders. Kaname told me to eat up as soon as she finished setting out plates of food and steaming cups of coffee before us. I mildly protested against the number of orders he took (which I originally thought was his but actually ended up to be mostly mine), but after his own calm and joking retorts, he finally got me to eat – a bit begrudgingly (and indulgently) at that.

Not to my surprise, I finished it all within a short amount of time, Kaname watching me all the while with amusement twinkling in his eyes. I felt a bit ashamed of myself afterwards, and to make things worse, he placed the bill on him and admitted he had already paid before I could even object.

"But, Kaname…" I whined.

"It's ok Misaki," he laughed. "Really."

"But it's not fair," I huffed, though I was aware how childish I sounded.

Kaname gave me a reassuring smile, "Anything for a best friend of mine."

I put on a fake grin, "You know I can't be happier."

_Stop lying to yourself. You're only making it hurt more. _

I sighed in defeat. It was like he was being too nice to me – not that he's always been like that – but it was just that I could sense he was trying too hard not to hurt me with anything he might mention about Tsubasa. I mean I really found it thoughtful awhile ago, but maybe now was the time I had to have my dose of reality.

I rested my head on my hand and looked at Kaname through pleading eyes. I surrendered. "Kaname, tell me honestly, how's Tsubasa doing?"

He seemed withheld for a moment, until his features broke into a toothy yet charming grin. "Thought you'd never ask."

I looked down, slightly ashamed.

"He really misses you, you know," he gently told me.

"Well I do too," I murmured, closing my eyes.

Kaname placed his hand on mine. "You know it's alright. Missing someone is just a part of life,"

My eyes started to water.

But he still continued. "Because what comes right after is the moment you meet that person again."

I kept my head low and let my tears freely trickle down my cheeks. "I think about him all the time."

"I'm sure he does too," was all Kaname could say, but I didn't mind at all.

Wiping away the tears in my eyes, I began to share with him everything that's been bothering me ever since I arrived here a few months ago. I told him about the same nightmare I've been having over and over again, the dreams and aspirations that were somehow able to weave their way into my screwed-up life, my problems at work, the heartaching sadness and loneliness I constantly felt, and of course, the iPod in that smelly old gym sock I refused to touch with the mixed playlist Tsubasa had set aside just for me.

Kaname, being the gentleman he was, listened intently, speaking only whenever he knew he had to without the need of hastening or interrupting me. He never complained as I poured my heart out to him and told him of all the feelings I've always kept locked up inside.

And the whole time I did this, besides the sincere words and compassion he had to offer, he held my hand like it was the only thing that kept me from sinking.

Then I finally finished. When I did, my eyes were sore from too much tears, my voice was still choked out from sobbing, and I could swear some people were already staring – but I knew that was the least of my worries.

Because long before I finished, Kaname rubbed my hand, telling me to follow my heart and learn how to sing in between the lines – he had told me this was the best thing I could do if I wanted to go out and get him. Then when I actually finished, he gave my hand one last squeeze, helped me up, wiped away my tears with a handkerchief he produced from his breast pocket, smoothed my hair and my blouse, handed me my bag, hailed a cab, opened the cab door for me as soon as one stopped by, gave me a long, warm hug, ushered me into the cab, then bade me goodbye right after telling me taxi fare was on him again and closed the door right away before I could even do anything about it.

Seconds after that, I found myself lying down on the taxi's backseat. I was staring at the low ceiling of the cab all the while, contemplating on the whirlwind of things that had happened just now.

"Had a rough brunch, Misaki-san?"

"Not exactly, _'jii-san_," I replied half-heartedly to the taxi driver I had come to dub _Ojii-san _after several weeks of bringing me to and from work and every other place I went to. "I had it with Kaname, an old friend of mine."

"Then why the long face, Mii-san?" he asked, concern unmistakably present in his tone.

I shook my head and closed my eyes.

"You really don't want to talk about it?" he implored, sounding disappointed that I decided on skipping out on a heart-to-heart conversation with him.

"No." Sigh.

"Nothing a little ice cream could fix?" He knew that offer never worked on me – I simply didn't have the time nor heart.

He was definitely a part-time ice cream man and taxi driver and full-time Grandpa extraordinaire as I would have jokingly called him on a better day.

"Sorry, Momiji-jii," I turned him down sadly.

"Ok then. Want me to take you home?"

Turning my gaze away from the ceiling, I looked him in the eye. "Yes please."

The cab lurched forward right away.

…

Halfway through an intersection, Grandpa turned on the radio.

The sound of a very familiar blaring of guitars sounded through the backseat speakers.

_**Going back to the corner, where I first saw you,**_

_**Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna move  
Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand,  
Saying, "If you see this girl can you tell her where I am?"  
**_

Even through shut eyes, I could swear something was up. But we still drove smoothly along with _Ojii-san_ who was still not bothering to make a sound.

_**  
Some try to hand me money, they don't understand  
I'm not broke, I'm just a broken hearted man  
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do  
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you?**_

He was letting the radio do all the talking if one thing's for sure.

_**  
'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,  
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be  
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,  
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street  
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving…**_

Now I suddenly felt like this was my cue to open my eyes. It's like I knew the song too well it hurt.

But when did I ever remember listening to this? I tried to rack my brains for the answer.

_**  
Policeman says, "Son you can't stay here,"  
And I say, "There's someone I'm waiting for, if it's a day, a month, a year"  
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows,  
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go.**_

If the painful familiarity wasn't enough to have me thinking, it might as well have something to do with what has been bothering me all this time.

Missing him was out of the question – I had long accepted that fact already – because I felt right in my heart I was being told something, though I just couldn't put my mind to it.

_**  
'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,  
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be  
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,  
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street  
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving,  
I'm not moving, I'm not moving…**_

I suddenly sat up, startling Momiji-jii at the driver's seat. We were currently halting at a stoplight, and for a moment, I looked up to watch the colored lights positioned atop each other.

_Red… _

Grandpa lightly strummed his fingers on the steering wheel. I ran a hand through my hair and swung my feet around so that I could finally sit properly. Reaching for my bag, I kept a steady eye on the stoplight.

_Yellow…_

The plaza was only a few blocks away, and yet it was like a heavy weight was pushing down on me, making me not want to go back home. As if knew that heavy weight I'd be plain old lonely at home again.

And as if that heavy weight had an effect on other things aside from me, time had just seemed to stop for me.

But the song still continued playing.

People talk about the guy that's waiting on a girl  
There are no holes in his shoes, but a big hole in his world

And maybe I'll get famous, as the man who can't be moved  
And maybe you won't mean to, but you'll see me on the news  
And you'll come running to the corner,  
'Cause you'll know it's just for you  
I'm the man who can't be moved (I'm the man who can't be moved)…

_Green…_

Time had moved forward once again, and so did the taxi, along with many other things – including myself. I absentmindedly rummaged through my bag for any spare change I could use to tip Grandpa, but instead the first thing my hand had grabbed for was the slender form of my own iPod.

"Huh." I couldn't even remember the last time I got this out of my bag and used it – or changed my bag for that matter. I turned it over, taking in everything about it – from its bright pink color to the colorful Snoopy bandaid matching the one stuck to Tsubasa's own iPod – the second I came to realize I had actually missed this precious thing I was holding in my hands.

"Anything wrong Mii-san?" Grandpa asked, eyeing me through the rearview mirror.

I shook my head, and out of curiosity and for old time's sake, I turned on my iPod. Apparently, it was still alive (what else was new?), and like my usual self, I scrolled down the many playlists I certainly was proud of.

_**'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,  
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be  
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,  
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street  
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving…**_

Then I found it – innocently waiting to be played at the very bottom of the list. I blinked.

_Misaki's Playlist_

How dare that guy mess with my iPod! I mentally cussed him for the dipwad he was.

"You should really just play it, you know," Grandpa suddenly spoke. I looked up at him, surprised. His grayish-green eyes were set in a paternal gaze – directed right at me – while his hand rested casually on the passenger seat's head rest.

"I – " Taking a look outside my window, it was then that I realized we were already at my stop.

He gave me an encouraging nod. I reluctantly opened the playlist. And for the first time since forever, I was actually shocked.

_**The Mixed Tape – Jack's Mannequin**_

_**Nothing Ever Hurt Like You – James Morrison**_

_**She's Got Style – NeverShoutNever!**_

_**Drops of Jupiter – Train**_

And then I saw the very last song it had listed.

_**The Man Who Can't Be Moved – The Script**_

Sure enough, it was an exact replica of the one in Tsubasa's iPod. It was as if time had been playing a trick on me all this time…

_**'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,  
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be  
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,  
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street  
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving…**_

…And yet I was still in a race against it.

"Momiji-jii?"

"Yes, Misaki-san?"

"Is it too late for some ice cream?"

Grandpa flashed me a hundred watt. It was like he had already seen this coming.

_**Going back to the corner, where I first saw you,**_

_**Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna move.**_

The cab moved forward once again, and we turned at the nearest U-turn.

I'll almost be there. Because in all aspects, I suddenly knew the message he was saying behind all that music and lyrics.

_Sing between the lines._

* * *

I fidgeted uneasily in my chair. This traffic was way too worse for my own good – not to mention for my sanity's as well.

I leaned forward and asked Grandpa, "Isn't there anyway we could speed this up?"

"Sorry, Mii-san. But don't worry, I doubt you'll ever run late for some ice cream," he assured me.

Smiling weakly, I sat back and gazed out the window. Who was I kidding anyway? The odds of finding him were like one in a million. I'm just a small girl in a big city anyway – definitely hopeless.

Then it played in my head.

_**They ain't got jack to say about my movie star.**_

But then, maybe the song was right. Tsubasa was right. Even now that I'm taking chances, I felt like luck was on my side. More than that, something inside me told me that fate was there alongside it too.

And that thing was most probably my heart.

Thirty minutes later, we stopped right in front of _Mr. Momiji's Ice Cream Place_ – just right across where I had met up with Kaname earlier. Luckily for me, my memory served me right and I remembered it as the same place I went to as a little girl with our old family chauffer, Mr. Lawrence.

I stepped out the cab, unhesitant. Everything from the cream-colored walls to its shiny glass double-doors reminded me of sweet memories about sugar-high afternoons and colorful gumdrops and ever brought me sad ones of cancelled picnics and lonely days at home. It was my refuge; my happy place – almost like a second home before the Academy.

This place simply meant everything to me.

I turned to face Grandpa. "Momiji-jii, here," I said, handing him a handful of change.

He shook his head and chuckled. "You'll be needing it for the ice cream right?"

I smiled slightly back. "Yeah, I guess so." Then suddenly noticing his engine was still running, I asked, "You're not coming, Grandpa?"

He shook his head again, smiling. "This is your moment, not mine."

"Right," I said, then added, "thanks for everything, _Ojii-san_."

Mr. Momiji gave me a salute before driving off. I watched the cab disappear away towards the main road before I continued to the door.

My hand rested on the door handle for a bit. Now my heart was hammering so hard against my rib cage that I had to clutch my chest just to ease it up and I had to remind myself what I was here for just so that I could convince myself to just get on with it.

But as if by demand, a memory I recalled from awhile ago flashbacked in my head.

_I once asked him how he met his first love._

_I could remember how he had once looked at me with those midnight blue eyes; how deep and full of unwavering emotion they were. And how, with a wolfish grin, he had once told me, "I remember it now. I was a little boy then, when I saw her. She was just sitting right across the counter, looking so sad while she helped herself to the most expensive sundae on the menu," he had gazed off into the distance very happily – as if the memory was so precious to him – before continuing on, "I had always wondered why she was so upset. But that time, I recall getting down from my seat and walking over to her but slipping down on a wet spot on the floor because I was so caught up on how cute she looked that time. I sprained my ankle and the next thing I knew, I was sent to the Academy. I never even got to ask why she was sad that day, you know?"_

_Then I remembered simply looking at him, puzzled by his startling answer._

Sad thing was that I only realized how that little dark-haired boy in the ice cream parlor particularly caught my attention when he came in through the double-doors alone like any grown-up kid and how I remember the aching disappointment I felt when my father had a last-minute board meeting and my mother had this sudden impulse to go the spa the day I expected to be flying kites with them in the park when I was in Grandpa's cab moments before rather than that time, four years, two months, and thirteen days ago.

And now that I'm finally aware and sorrier than ever, I just hoped he won't give up on me just until this moment. This is my final chance after all, because sooner or later, my parents wouldn't be allowing me to even try on seeing him after I ditched yet another one of their brunches.

_Here goes nothing._

Heaving a deep breath, I pushed open the door…

…And found him sitting on the chair directly in front of me. He turned to face me. Then they, his company, immediately approached me.

"Father? Mother?" I couldn't believe my eyes. Them, at a place like this?

"Misaki, we were expecting you," my father said.

"I – What are you doing here?" I sent a disgusted look down Sonoda Takeru's way and spat, "More importantly, what are you doing here with _him?_"

My mother came to me and took my hand. She walked over to the counter where he was sitting at, with me unwillingly in tow.

"Misaki, meet Sonoda Takeru, your fiancé."

* * *

_I met with Tsubasa again less than a month later at the place where we first met. But by that time around, I had met up with him as an engaged woman. _

_And I couldn't have been any more heartbroken. _

* * *

Wooh! Finally done with that. (:

_**Author's Note: **_

_This story was dedicated to missyJuliette all the way, and even though it received a very minimal number of reviews (stuff like that never get me down), I'm still glad I was finally able to write this for her. Thanks for those who supported me, especially you, mJ. :) Watch out for my next story then, 'kayy? _

_Review? _


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